Death From Within

Death from within is the only way to live life in a meaningful manner. Now i do not mean to feel numb, but to realize that we are only a mere fraction of what this universe holds. Death from with in meaning to humble thy self. Too many people are lost in denial to see this, and they live their lives with out freeing their lives, without really feeling free. There are also so many people who are too fearful of the truth, they are also the one stuck deep within denial, clutching on to what they believe is true as all their beliefs are being crushed. Our lives are so much easier if we just let go and embrace the death within. Death, its merely a device to a new beginning. All beginnings have and end, and all ends are the start of another beginning. AS i have previoiusly said, life is death and death is life. To die is to live and to live is to die. Embrace life as it is, not as you hope it is. This will make us better people and will lead us towards a more peaceful time. The less we deny, the more we realize. The more we realize, the more we understand that life and death are very connected, and you need one for the other.

Death and suffering create a potent drug

Human intelligence is being drowned in the vortex of grandest ignorance. Ignorance is contagious. Its spreads like an infectious disease spreads through tight nit communities. Stupid is is stupid does. Bitter resentment resounds to those who are responsible for the ever growing strength of the vortex of ignorance, slowly draining the life and will out of all of life. I would rather die the most painful death than to be ignorant and/or have the life drained of me. I embrace death with as cold a grip that it has over its victims. We are not enemies but merely friends in an on going struggle to end problems. Suffering lets one know that they are still living. The pain in life is equivalent to running a razor across your arm, the figurative blood flowing so freely is making you realize that this is all real and you are actually alive. People see suffering as bad, suffering is merely a tool to make it through life. Without suffering we know not how to live life. Happiness has its perks, but to embrace death is to understand that this life WILL end. To embrace suffering means to be able to understand that we ARE alive, taking every excruciating blow. When i say embrace death, i mean not to commit suicide, but merely to understand death and not fear it. Fear is a tool, not an emotion. Fear is used as a form of control. Break that control. Death is life. Life is death. The greatest paradox of all.

The human eye doth not see

The average human eye is trained to see the bare minimum. But my eyes are trained to see the world in a fashion that many dare not even begin to see it. When people see the trees they think tree, but i think "why do we call this a tree?". The depth of my mind runs deep and gives me a far deeper insight into life. People call me naive for seeming to see the world through rose color glasses but little do they know i lookt through a more real lens than most people will ever be able to. i see through the lies of this hellish life, the lies of the people, the lies of the politicians. Its an art, really, to be able to sift through the bullshit and see the truth. The world, not humanity, but the earth, is a BEAUTIFUL place that the hands of humans are beginning to destroy. Far too many people now see the world as a place to inhabit and to desecrate for the means of their own greed. The earth is not a possession but a very beautiful gift of nature. The trees, animals, plants, grass, mountains, glaciers, valleys, plains. Its all a beautiful mix of greatness and of a magnificent worth that the human mind fails to fathom on its own. We are infinitesimal compared to the sheer brilliance of this grand planet. The human eye doth not see the spirits of nature whirling around as i do, the human eye doth not see the agony in the animals eyes when another tree falls to the ground. The human eye doth not see the magnificence of the great bodies of water, those that are now dowsed in the foulest of products. The human eye doth not see the pain we cause ourselves by living our lives in a "i wish not to hurt those around me" mentality as opposed to "i shall do my best to MINIMIZE the pain i cause,". Life presents us with all this, but the humans fail to see the way life works, fails to see everything good, and destroys all it touches. May the destructive hands see the greatness of this world, and may those who are able to see show the reality to th rest of the world.

The warrior within

I am a psychological warrior, my mind trained to see the world through a very different and complex lens. My mission seems so simple, yet like all missions with a seemingly simple exterior, it is far more complex than it sounds. To bring about the well being of others through the use of cunning words and powerful persuasion. Sounds easy, but it takes a very skilled mind to do the eloquent walk of words that can soothe even the most hostile and belligerent  of hearts. To take on this role of a warrior is no simple task, and to see what i see is not so easy. I see the lives of many on the brink of suicide as they teeter on the line of life and death in a flirtatious battle to maintain a balance on such a frail position. After seeing so much, it becomes a case of determination and mere damnation to be able to see all that happens. The world is a burning hell caught in a whirlwind of lies and deceit that many allow go undetected. I fight to quell the raging fires that are ignited from even the smallest of sparks, and to calm the pounding wind of corruption that whirls through tainting all it touches in an attempt to bring the world to its battered knees.  I am sent to defend those who choose to be defended, and here to battle those who try and harm  those which i am protecting. A cold and composed demeanor necessary to be able to maintain the balance, being able to wade through the sea of agony and falsehood. Its time to shine the very light of truth that everything exists around and clear these murky waters of life to bring a new order and to bring peace among man.

Life is a struggle

"life is a constant struggle to greatness, each day its own battle. Some people try real hard to get where they want, others fall down and give up. Life is a war, a war on many things, a war on survival and so on. As we wake each day we should give thanks that we are still able to wake up. Each day we are dying but people dont want to think that way because the ywant to think that death is sudden. No death comes slowly, each passing moment we are dying. From the moment if birth we start the process of dying. Some peoples process is faster than others but in the end we all die. Life is so fragile as a flash and bang of a gun driving the 9mm bullet into the human skull could end what we call life. Everyday we over come the odds, odds that are stacked against us all since in the end we all die. No one can cheat death for ever, like cheating on a test, eventually you get caught and face the consequences. Pain is only a part of life as we go on, happiness is the ultimate reward. Some times happiness comes at a grave cost, but some people earn happiness, even though they are in great pain.People get confused what happiness really is, happiness is the ability to feel good about something that changed someones life, even if you had to bend over backwards to do it. Happiness is a beautiful thing. Each passing day some people gain happiness, others lose hope and only remeber what happiness was. But the worst is those who have yet to discover true happiness. Those who find it know that it is a powerful reward to recieve. Be true to yourself and you should live a life of happiness, and be able to die a happy person.

one of my first recorded writings

The pain seems like it is never ending, every word she says only causes the tears to go. The more she says the more intense the pain, all seems lost. Head throbbing, the red water starts flowing from the nose, staining anything in its path. All thoughts are blurred and slurred. Choking for air, all breathing is difficult. Eyes streaming tears, soaking the face and hands as the hands wipe away the tears. As time progresses those feelings of pain and sadness turn over to resentment and hatred. Wanting to inflict pain, make her suffer as this. Deep pants as the air comes surging into the lungs, all thoughts hell bent on revenge. Thoughts of forgiveness seem far away. Then the sight of her makes the anger and resentment slowly die, and the feeling of shame and lost pride emerge, choking out al the anger that has welled up inside. Forgiveness is o so close, thoughts finally cleared up again. Then all the sorrow is gone and forgiveness is achieved. Hopes arise that maybe one day things will work out after all.

soldier

A whirl wind of words spiraling through my head, my mind a battle between two worlds. Images flashing by, real and fake, driving deeper into the relm labeled insanity. Dreams slowy trying to make themselves as real as possible, scarying me when i feel what is not there. The haunting touch of the non-existant curses me in the twilight hours of many a night. The non-existant suffering i endure in those hours that are so haunting is slowly dismantaling my serenity. I am a soldier, my battles are not fought with guns and explosives, so my soul has not been haunted by the lingering cries of pain and betrayal from brutal shots fired. My soul is haunted by the attempts on ones own life, the blood i have not seen rolling down the arms and legs of so many, the screams and cries of desparation as somoene's life seems to be so bad, the tears seen and unseen from the pains of life. The metaphoric blood seeping out of my metaphoric wounds. I am a guardian, here to endure such suffering and to be there for those who are in need of guidance and assistance. Life can be hard, and can leave a very deep mark, completely rocking some peoples worlds. Am i doing what is right, or is all this suffering and mental strain all in vane

Darkness falls

The silver lining hidden from plain view, in a place that is slowly becoming unwelcoming. My soul bruised and bleeding, battered and scarred. I have been thrown into hell time and time again, coming back as battered, but not beaten. I have been through hell time and time again, and i am ready to go back through it all again. My warped soul and twisted mind scarred from battles of the past and haunting images of a brutal past. Haunting dreams casting a deep shadow on my remaining innocense and sanity, driving me closer and closer to the deepest of insanity. This will come to pass, but at this time I see the shadows of darkness slowly setting in again, to consume me one more time to try and bring down my spirits, try and drop a follower of the Lord. My soul has been beaten and battered, but my heart beats on. Please reach through this darkness, and pull me up, craddle my inner child... allow me to get reprieve. Show me that you care!!!!

In this mockery

I am sick of the shit they keep putting me through, its all the same. Words dont hurt me anymore, but the silences do. The lies and deciet hurt, the bloody wounds hurt, the battle after battle hurts. These blood stained hands hurt. My past has left me with these crimson hands, the pain i caused others, the lies, the manipulation. My past hurts me now know the immense pain i caused. The pang of loneliness always haunting me with its chilling grip. No matter how hard i try i remain branded by this painful mark, with only one person able to lessen its pain to almost non-existant. When she leaves, the loneliness rsurfaces, mocking me, and jeering at me. I know not to ask if it will ever end because reall it probably will never be TRULY gone. THis is a burden i have been given, God knows i can handle it. Maybe one day people with finally hear me out, maybe one day i will feel totally accepted, but untail that happens, i guess i just need to grit my teeth, pray, and carry on day by day till my dying breath...

As i burn

WHo is it that i am able to trust in this man and chaotic world? With these stinging wounds in my back of past stabbings a constant reminder of what people will do, will i be able to trust those around me again? An eternal torment on this place we call earth, a torment of betrayl and lies. WHo is being real with me? Who is putting up a mask to hide the grotesque  being threy truly are? Am i seeing what is real, or are my beliefs that people are fronting a reality? Why must a man who wants to be the best friend posisble seem to attract such hostility? My past is riddled with mistakes and lies, but that man is trying so hard to change, doing so well, yet people wont let go. Who is going to put up with me in hard times? Who is going to hold me to prevent me from falling> WIll you be one of those who hold me up, or will you let me fall and watch me burn?