In this mockery

I am sick of the shit they keep putting me through, its all the same. Words dont hurt me anymore, but the silences do. The lies and deciet hurt, the bloody wounds hurt, the battle after battle hurts. These blood stained hands hurt. My past has left me with these crimson hands, the pain i caused others, the lies, the manipulation. My past hurts me now know the immense pain i caused. The pang of loneliness always haunting me with its chilling grip. No matter how hard i try i remain branded by this painful mark, with only one person able to lessen its pain to almost non-existant. When she leaves, the loneliness rsurfaces, mocking me, and jeering at me. I know not to ask if it will ever end because reall it probably will never be TRULY gone. THis is a burden i have been given, God knows i can handle it. Maybe one day people with finally hear me out, maybe one day i will feel totally accepted, but untail that happens, i guess i just need to grit my teeth, pray, and carry on day by day till my dying breath...